Unsung Heros

Graham Update Day 35 (7/13/14)

Yesterday one of Graham's best friends from church came to visit Graham in the hospital.  He read some stories to Graham, ate popsicles with him, and helped Graham with his physical therapy - passing balls back and forth from side to side, and chasing down the balls that Graham was kicking and throwing.  He is such a great friend, and it was VERY helpful to Graham yesterday.  As I saw that little boy helping Graham and playing with him, it made me think of all the people who have helped us along the way these last 35 days.  So tonight, I just want to highlight a few of the people who work here at the hospital who really helped Graham get to where he will be tomorrow:  Baylor Children's House.  This list is by no means a comprehensive list, just a few people who come to mind as I type.

First is a nurse that Graham met his first or second night on the neurosurgery floor, less than two weeks after brain surgery.  We'll just call her the Neuro Nurse. Graham was not really talking much at that point.  He still had a feeding tube in his mouth.  Unlike today, Graham spent more time sleeping than awake, and yet every time she came in the room, whether Graham was sleeping or awake, she would gently pat him on the arm or shoulder, and talk to him.  She'd say what a sweet boy he is, or how great he is doing, or something else that was positive and encouraging. Now all the nurses both in the ICU and on the neuro floor have been wonderful.  But to see someone who cares for Graham that way just melts my heart.  As a parent in the home, you are in control, or at least you can pretend to be.  You love, teach, discipline, and talk to your children.  But it's not just the things you do, it's how you do them.  And how you do the right things is just as important as doing the right things in the first place. 

In the hospital, on the other hand, parents are mostly helpless.  We can't simply kiss the ouchy.  Nor can we hug away the tears.  How you do things as a parent in the hospital doesn't matter all that much, because my hands aren't on the smart end of a scalpel, nor is my training in any way relevant to how much of a life saving medication my son gets.  So as I watch helplessly on, thinking about HOW much better I'll do things moving forward, it brings peace to my heart as I see HOW this wonderful nurse treats my child.  She is caring for my son in a medically meaningful way, and despite the fact that she has 4 other kiddos and may not even have Graham on her next shift, she treats him in a way that is downright motherly.  As a biased parent I'd like to think that Graham is just THAT easy to love (and he is!), but I know that his nurse is just THAT good of a person, and just that good at what she does.

Our first full day in the hospital was rough.  The adrenaline had settled from the night before, but the tears were still very fresh.  My son's head had been run over the day before by an SUV, and when I saw him for the first time I honestly thought he would die.  I spoke to a hospital chaplain in Graham's room that next day, and he just asked me about Graham.  I told him that Graham was a sweet boy, sweeter than most.  Maybe the sweetest.  I told him that Graham loved dinosaurs and Legos, Star Wars and superheroes.  And as I did, I just cried.  In my mind I wondered - even if Graham lives, would I ever see him enjoy those things again in this life?  Would his sincerity and sweetness pour through his every action like it did before the accident?  Would I see him smile?  Would I hear him laugh?  I never cried so much in front of one person in my whole life, and Graham's ICU nurse was there working away I as let it all out.  Once composed just a little bit, I noticed how she cared for my son in that same motherly way.  She looked at my son the way my wife looks at my kids.  When she moved his hands, checked his eyes, and cleaned his wounds, she was as gentle as one could possibly be.  And she was so positive both with him and with Lindsey and me.  She talked to us about other kids who came in worse off and had wonderful recoveries.  She gave Lindsey and me a seed of hope that so many prayers and wonderful people nurtured and helped to take root.  I've said many times that after the first or second day I didn't cry for Graham any more (but still weep often at the wonderful love and gestures that come his way).  His ICU nurse was a big reason why.  I don't know how anyone could see her do what she does and not think "this is the best person on the planet to care for my child RIGHT NOW."  She didn't care for my son like it was her job.  She cared for him like it was her calling.

Her role in Graham's speedy recovery would only grow after day 2,  though.  For a long time, Graham's brain surgery was set to take place in "1-2 weeks."  That's what we heard on days 1, 5, and 12.  Once Graham became stable enough to have his EVD (brain drain) removed on June 23, his doctors said that the abrasions on his face and head would have to heal A LOT MORE before they operated.  At the time, that would mean brain surgery on some day after the 4th of July, when Dr. Braga's schedule matched up with the plastic surgeon and the operating room.  But Graham's ICU nurse wasn't having that.  With Graham's scalp now clear of his EVD hose, she went to work.  For the next hour or two, she gently and meticulously hunched over Graham's bed and began cleaning his wounds.  She would spend several minutes gently washing away the dried blood, brain fluid, and whatever else was on there about ONE SQUARE INCH on the right side of Graham's head.  And then she would move on to the next patch with all the care of a mother and the apparent precision of a surgeon.  By the time she was done, Graham looked like a different boy.  So much so, in fact, that the next morning (June 24th) when the neuro surgery team came in to look Graham, they announced that his surgery wouldn't need to wait until after the 4th of July, but rather it would take place on the 27th of June.  Graham's nurse, who had dozens of labs to draw, medications to give, and notes to chart, took A LOT of extra time with Graham, and effectively accelerated his recovery by about 2 weeks.  That is the difference between starting school on time and not.  That is two weeks of summer vacation with our kids that we would otherwise never get back.  And in a summer when time is in short supply, an amazing nurse gifted Lindsey and me an extra two weeks. 

There are so many other people that I would like to write about and acknowledge.  The doctor who came in on his day off to give Graham a hug.  The physical therapist who pushed Graham to his limit in every session. The Occupational Therapist who made Graham feel like a super hero for a day.  The speech therapist who skipped mac n cheese and went straight to graham crackers.  The Nurse Practitioner who exhausted herself mentally trying (and succeeding) to figure out how to manage Graham's sodium.  The nurse who challenged the status quo and got Graham to eat for the first time.  The nurse who cared so deeply for Graham and always called him "buh-buh."  The nurse who made Graham smell manly!  And a brain surgeon who performed the perfect surgery.  There are so many people JUST AT THE HOSPITAL that I wish I could adequately thank, and someday I hope to.  But as we leave Children's Medical Center at Dallas, I hope that every person who cared for my son knows that Lindsey and I are grateful for you.  You saved our son's life.  You preserved the quality of it.  You lightened the burden of two parents whose world came tumbling down around them.  God answered our prayers and the prayers of many others through you.

My son Graham is a True Superhero, but so are the people who saved him.  Thank you.

#Prayers4Graham