Graham's surgery - Success. But a more pressing emergency!

Dear Friends and Family,

Graham's surgery was a great success. He's home and resting and already back to his normal self. I'll update you all in more detail later, but there is something that needs your attention now.

The title of this blog is True Super Hero. I started this when my son Graham was in the hospital after having his head run over by a car. I picked that title with three things in mind:
1) Graham, overcoming all that he has, is a True Super Hero
2) Those friends, family members, doctors, nurses, and complete strangers who reached out and helped us; lifted us up in our time of need; are True Super Heros
3) Those normal people who do extraordinary things are True Super Heros

Kurt Young is one such Superhero. A dedicated husband and father of 8 passed away on Monday, less than two weeks before Christmas, while saving his wife and three youngest children from a house fire. He leaves behind a family who lost their house, their husband, and their father. It is the ultimate tragedy- the sort of thing that I cannot comprehend. Sorrow that I have never known. And they need our help.

A gofundme account has been set up to help the family with the cost of their funeral. The goal is $10,000, and this is not nearly enough. We need to raise more. A lot more!

As we celebrate Christ this season, let us remember who he was in his mortal life and what he stood for. He loved the whole world. Those he never met. He even loved those who hated him, spat on him, and crucified him. As he endured his last mortal hours on earth, nailed to a cross, he prayed for them who hated him and jeered him during his suffering: "Father forgive them, for they know not what they do."

Christ's life was a gift. His mission was giving to and loving both those who are close to us and those who are complete strangers. And right now, in this season of giving, a family has lost everything, and they need a gift from you. This is the reason for the season.

Please dig deep. Get your kids involved. Ask them if they want to set up a hot chocolate stand and donate the contributions to the Young family. Ask them if they want to return a gift and donate it to the Young family. Give up your Starbucks for a week. Forgo a meal out and donate it to the Young Family. But please, you 4,000 strong who prayed for and lifted up my family during our hour of need- turn your thoughts, prayers, and kindness to the Youngs this holiday season.

https://dm2.gofund.me/ujfwjetc

Ice Cream Sandwich, a Seizure, and Brain Surgery

It's now been almost 18 months since the day that changed our family forever.  On that first day of the kids' summer vacation in McKinney, Texas, I remember standing panicked in the street a few hundred yards from my house while sirens flashed, staring at my motionless son Graham, and wondering if he would ever walk, talk, speak, or even live again.  His head had been run over by a car, and his skull was obviously misshapen.  He was carried away in an ambulance and then in a helicopter, his landing spot unknown to Lindsey and me until several hours later.

Since that day we have witnessed miracle after miracle as Graham endured brain surgery, skull reconstruction, three months in the hospital, and countless hours in therapy.  Graham has healed. Our family has healed.  And for the most part we've gotten back to life as normal.

In particular Graham's short-term memory, while still not back to normal, is much improved.  I can remember in the months following his release from the hospital last year, we would do VERY SIGNIFICANT things like going to a movie as family, visiting Santa at the mall, or taking a trip.  And mere hours after those events he had little if any recollection of them ever occurring.

Yesterday, however, I was having a conversation with Graham, and during the course of it he mentioned that he would love to have some ice cream.  I told him that he could have an ice cream sandwich later, he got a little excited, and we carried on with our conversation.  A few hours thereafter Graham made a point to remind me - "Dad, you promised me you would give me an ice cream sandwich, remember?"  And of course I did remember.  But more importantly - GRAHAM remembered.  Unprompted and un-reminded, he recalled a small detail from earlier in the day.  That NEVER happened during the year following his accident.  But it is starting happen more and more often.

Graham recognizes his inability to remember things, and often reminds people of his condition by quoting Dory from Finding Nemo: "I suffer from short term memory loss!"  Now though, when he says that, we are confidently able to tell him to his delight, "Not anymore Graham, you're getting better!"

Graham still requires constant care, but overall things are getting better.  He's blind in his right eye and legally blind (20/200) in his left, but he manages to get around, read for school and for pleasure, and do his homework.  He even enjoys playing video games and playing catch.

One skill that Graham has maintained before, during (except while in a coma) and after his accident is his ability to quote movies:

He loves to play and be silly and play with his brothers and sister like any normal 7 year-old

He's an awesome big brother, friend, and cousin.

And his big brother Brode, in creating a poster about his hero for school, returns the favor.

Graham is definitely his own man.  He loves to play, create art, exercise in very short spurts.  Non contact taekwondo is perfect for him.

The long walk home from school though?  Not so much!

* * * * * * * * * *

On the last Friday of October, just before Halloween, I was returning from a business trip in Oregon and I got a call that we have feared would come for some time.  I answered and Lindsey was on the other end of the line.  She was calm, but there was obviously fear in her voice - a fear that transferred instantly to me.  "Every thing is OK....Graham had a seizure.  It lasted a really long time.  We called an ambulance and I'm with him and we're on our way to the hospital."

Thoughts and questions began pouring into my mind.  Would Graham really be ok?  Did he fall and hit his head?  Did he suffer more brain damage?  Did my other kids see him?  They suffered immensely from the emotional trauma of Graham's accident.  Would this bring that fear and worry back into their lives?  How is my wife holding up?  Who has the kids?  How much longer till I get home?!?!

We were very worried about Graham, needless to say.  He did hit his head when he fell and seized, but an MRI and CT Scan show he was spared from any additional damage to his brain.  And even though the seizure lasted between 5-10 minutes, he actually breathed through it, meaning the supply of oxygen to his brain was sustained.  And though he was temporarily blind in BOTH eyes during his ambulance ride and shortly thereafter, his vision has returned to "normal."

Since then we have returned to normal as well, and with a few tweaks to his medications we are optimistic that we'll have a nice dry-spell in the seizure department.  So we now turn our thoughts to the next big event - brain surgery.



In case you don't remember, this is what Graham's skull looked like immediately after his accident:

His entire forehead was broken away from the posterior part of his skull, breaking across both orbital bones, the bridge of his nose, and circling around over the top of his head.  After completing brain surgery to repair his torn dura (brain sac), his skull was reconstructed.  At least the outside of his skull.  There was an area of his skull that was inaccessible to the surgeons through his opened skull - the base of his skull, or the "bottom of the bowl" if you will.

This break opened into the sphenoid sinus, meaning his "clean" brain cavity was constantly exposed to his "dirty" sinus.  This puts Graham at a tremendous risk for getting a debilitating and potentially deadly meningitis infection in his brain.  Doctors before and after our move back to Boise, Idaho had differing opinions on how to deal with this issue.  But the good news is we now have a team of doctors a few aways away in Salt Lake City who agree on a plan of action and who are willing to address the issue.  So on December 1, 2015, Graham will have his next, and what we hope will be his final, brain surgery.

The good news is that they don't plan on opening Graham's skull to perform the repair.  They will instead remove some fatty tissue from Graham's belly, and together with some titanium mesh they will construct a "beaver dam" in his head to plug up the hole seen above.  It should take a few hours, and it is still brain surgery, but it's obviously less invasive than the last time he went under the knife.  There are risks and unanswered questions:  How will he respond to prolonged sedation?  Will the mesh stay in place when he sneezes or exerts himself?  Will his brain cavity reject the fat transplant?

Still, I'll relish these questions running through my head compared to the questions that weighed me down as I looked at my son in that driveway 18 months ago.  On November 29 we will fast (go 24 hours without eating or drinking) and pray for our son as a family, and we invite any who feel so inclined to join with us in this.  We are so grateful to God, friends, family, nurses, and doctors have carried us to this point.  And we know that our future is in God's hands, and that's a great future to have, regardless of any short-term obstacles we may run in to.

Thank you all for your positive thoughts and prayers for our son.  We'll keep you posted as Graham jumps over this next hurdle in his life.

New Places, New Faces, and the Next Big Hurdle

 

Just before the Fourth of July this summer we loaded up the moving truck and moved our family from Dallas, Texas to our other “home” and Graham’s birthplace- Boise, Idaho.  It was a move that caused a lot of anxiety for several reasons.

First and foremost, Graham’s school and our church were nothing short of amazing.  Graham’s principle and teachers at Ogle Elementary treated Graham like he was their own son, and ALL the kids at the school treated Graham like he was a ROCKSTAR.  Our church lifted us up and gave us more support and kindness than we could ever hope for.  From the day 16 months ago when a car ran over Graham’s head until the day we left, we had the greatest support system a family could ask for.  We would occasionally have the opportunity to walk the halls of the school with Graham for one reason or another, and kids of all grades would say “Hi Graham!” or “Hey there’s Graham!  Hi Graham!”  as they waved at him with giant smiles on their faces.  The school held a big assembly for Graham during the last week of school and named their school theme for the following year – SUPERHEROS – in his honor. 

As we pondered our move, we wondered – how would his new school treat him?  In McKinney, his school went through the trial of Graham’s accident WITH us and WITH Graham.  They prayed for him.  They stood by us through his miraculous recovery.  They loved him.  How would Graham do at a new school, where he’s not “The Superhero?”  Where he’s just the new kid with an eye that doesn’t work and a memory that forgets?  Would he be bullied?  Would the school accommodate him? Would his teachers understand him?  Would his classmates accept him?

In moving back to Boise, we also had to leave the doctors who, in essence, brought Graham back to life and got him back in our home after 3 months in the hospital.  Graham would need a new neurosurgeon, a new neurologist, and a new endocrinologist.  Would they see eye to eye with his previous doctors?  Or would they have widely differing opinions and cause massive disruptions in Graham’s recovery as they put their own “mark” on him?

Then there were practical matters – how long would it take Graham to learn the hallways at his new school?  At his new HOME?  Graham has been a rock of optimism and positivity ever since his accident.  He is quite possibly the happiest and kindest kid on earth.  Could he maintain that?  Or would all the changes resulting from the move finally prove to be too much for him to handle emotionally?  Would it break his spirit?  And what of our other three kids?  How would they handle it?

Well, we are happy to report that the anxiety storm has been calmed, and all is well.  His new school – Andrus Elementary in Boise, Idaho, has exceeded our expectations.  The principle and teachers have stepped up and met Graham’s every need, and the kids have treated him with kindness.  Our church has been great as well, and Graham has more friends in the neighborhood than we can count.  In short, the move has been a great success!

Graham has a new Neurologist and Endocrinologist here in Boise, and a new ENT surgeon and Brain surgeon a few hours away in Salt Lake City.  We like them all, and their opinions thus far have been consistent with those of the team that nursed Graham back to health in Dallas.

Inclusive in that consistency is the expert medical opinion that Graham needs to have another surgery.  He still has a crack in the base of his (should be sterile) skull that leads into his “dirty” sphenoid sinus. And the crack is growing.  As one of his doctors put it, Graham is a “Walking case of meningitis waiting to happen.”  Performing his surgery is not an emergency, but it is necessary.  He’s literally a bad sneeze away from introducing bacteria to his brain.  So surgery will happen in Salt Lake City on December 8.  His ENT Surgeon and Brain surgeon will work together clean out and seal the crack in his skull with titanium mesh and fat from Graham’s belly.  As they put it, it is “not a minor surgery – it’s brain surgery” even though they will not need to perform a craniotomy; instead performing the surgery endoscopically.  He’ll likely have to stay in the hospital for at least a week, and the timing (intentionally) means he’ll be out of school for about a month.  And while no parent ever wakes up in the morning and hopes their kid needs brain surgery, we are grateful for modern medicine and the opportunity to clear Graham’s next hurdle.

Thank you to all our friends and family near and far who continue to support Graham and pray for him.  We know that his recovery is a wonderful combination of great medicine and divine intervention, and for the latter we thank a loving Heavenly Father and all those who prayed to him on Graham’s behalf. 

 

More updates will come, and until then God bless you all.

Moving, Moving Forward, and More Surgery

It's hard to believe it has been one year since Graham's head was run over by an SUV and our little superhero pulled himself out from under a car and began his miraculous recovery. 3 weeks in a coma, had skull reconstruction and brain surgery, a and spent almost three months in four hospitals before finally returning home. If I'm honest with myself, I'll admit there were brief times when I didn't think he would live. When we didn't think he would ever walk, talk, see, or hear again. But with faith, amazing doctors and nurses, prayers and support, Graham has overcome all the odds and made a near-complete recovery. And as we've returned to our busy lives, many have reached out and asked: how is Graham today?

The short answer is, "he's good."  The long answer is complicated, and it begins with us moving at the end of June.

Back in November, I began having discussions with my company about taking over an open territory in our hometown - Boise, Idaho. At the end of January that deal became final, so Lindsey and me began preparations to move.

Fast forward to about two weeks ago and we had a conversation with Graham's Neuro Surgeon. We told him we wanted him to see Graham in clinic once more before we move, so that we could discuss Graham's long-term health and prepare to transfer his care to new doctors in Boise. He asked us, almost in passing, if we wanted to do another MRI to check up on things. We decided that would be good, and scheduled both the MRI and our next office visit.

The MRI came and went without incident, and we went to what we thought was a routine office visit with Dr. Braga. What came next knocked is off of our feet. Graham needs another surgery.

The reason is not new - Graham has a crack in the base of his skull (a "clean" environment) that now leads into his sphenoid sinus (a "dirty" environment). For more than six months and with four different groups of surgeons examining him, it was determined that Graham would not need surgery because his cerebral spinal fluid (CSF) was not leaking from his skull to his sinus. But in comparing past MRIs with his most recent one, it became clear to see that fluid was indeed building up in his sinus. That puts him at severe risk for menegitis, and so surgery is absolutely necessary.

At  minimum, it will require an endoscopic procedure going in through the nose, up the sinus, and sealing up the crack in the base of his skull from below. But the surgery is complex, and Graham also has fluid building up above his right orbital bone, so a craniotomy might be necessary as well. When the surgery happens is up in the air - it has yet to be scheduled and might delay our move a bit, but we'll sort all that out when we know more.

His long term prognosis did not provide much more by the way of positive news. Based on a review of the MRI, it was determined that he is extremely unlikely to regain vision on his right eye. And the still-visible damage to his brain indicates that his short-term memory is unlikely to improve as well. One of his orbital bones is growing in an odd manner, causing it to droop and likely necessitating reconstructive facial surgery as he reaches his teen years.

When we heard all the news, it was honestly very deflating. PTSD, for lack of a better phrase, set in, and many of the fears and emotions that we felt early on in Graham's recovery came rushing back. We became nervous. Scared. Sorry for our son and all that he will have to endure. Nothing will come easy for this guy. He has much yet to overcome.

But much like at the time of his accident one year ago, hope filled our hearts.  Hope became faith, and faith has become resolve. The way we see it now is this: all this news closes the chapter on his accident. We begin now to work for the future, embrace the differences that have set in since his accident, and prepare Graham to live the rest of his life as the sweet boy that he is.

We are so blessed. Against all odds, our son is alive and active. He completed first grade, although with Graham already being young for his grade and having trouble with his short term memory, we are strongly leaning towards a second year of it in Idaho to lay an even stronger foundation for his future.

We have been blessed with amazing family and friends. A loving and caring church, community, and school that wrapped their collective arms around Graham throughout the year. And we have a loving Heavenly Father who know Graham, knows his family, and will surely bless us with a path to happiness.

Graham will have challenges. He will have limitations.  But so do we all. When the deck of life was dealt, it simply wasn't in the cards for me to be the Jockey of American Pharaoh or a gymnast in the Olympics.  I'm 6'4'' tall. It was never going to happen. And that's ok. We all overcome our limitations, focus on our strengths, and do our best to be happy in life. At the end of the day, happiness is much more a result of good attitude than great aptitude. And nobody - I mean NOBODY, has a better attitude than our Graham.

So Graham is good. Change is coming. He has more to overcome. Life is not simple right now. But we know who holds our future. Thank you all for you continued kindness and prayers, and may God bless you all.

Onward and Upward

Graham continues to make amazing progress, and we continue to count our blessings.  So much has changed, even since the last time I posted an update.  Whether it's P.E. at school, his rehab schedule, his memory, or the plan for his continuing treatment, we are continually amazed at what a miracle it is that Graham is alive and getting better.   I'll post more details in the coming weeks, but I wanted to take a minute to share something about my beautiful bride:

Lindsey has been asked to be the keynote speaker at a Women's conference here in Frisco, Texas.  She'll recount the story from her perspective, give an update on Graham's health, and share both how faith helped get our family through the events of this past summer, and how those same events strengthened our faith.

Women of all faiths and backgrounds are welcome to attend.  You can see details below.  Lindsey will be speaking at 11:30 a.m.  She's very nervous, but will be happy to see you nonetheless!

http://countyourblessings.typepad.com/friscostakewomensconf/2015/01/our-keynote-speaker.html